emitan3

Posts like this one today make me wish I could post a piece of that peach cobbler I made Friday night. I haven't had fun like that in a long time cooking for a bunch of people and watching them eat the food that came from my hands! Unfortunately, we didn't take pictures of the massive feast we made Friday night. On the menu, homemade barbecue pulled pork, homemade peach cobbler, homemade sweet potato casserole, homemade coleslaw (courtesy of Abbie), potato salad, and a berry trifle. The best part about the peach cobbler was it was a last minute addition to the menu but I think it was by far the best dish we had out there. The barbecue was awesome too, had a nice spicy kick to it. I assume things were good if all the food was eaten, that is all 6.75 pounds of meat. But the best part about cooking is making stuff from scratch and then watching people eat. Is that weird that I enjoy watching people eat? Man, seriously, if I had time and money to do this every week for people, I would do it!

The rest of Friday night was awesome as well, good eats and a fun game, Pop 5 (courtesy of David). Girls vs Boys, the boys prevailed although we must rematch. Such a fun game! Anyhow, short post, but I sure hope your mouth is watering...next time we do this, I must take pictures.

Marriage: (On our 2 month anniversary) We often learn that God's grace is sufficient. No matter what. Being married has taught me that it is all about God's grace and practicing the art of forgiveness. Other things I've been learning as a wife, how to respect my husband and love him. It's so interesting when you begin living with a completely new roommate. Most of the times you think back on those days of living with random people each year, having to adjust to their habits, and complaining about what they do or don't do. As of this point, perhaps it's because it's still so early on, but I don't have too many complaints. It's so great to know that there is someone who is working with you whether it's cooking dinner or keep this apartment clean, but that you've always got someone there. It's the companionship. I often pray that we will grow in this marriage in the way God created marriage to be, the most intimate relationship on earth that could somehow imitate a glimpse of what the relationship of Christ and the church.

Cooking: So in the period of us getting married, we've begun to experiment and discover new recipes. It's always fun to try something new. In the 2 months we've been married, we've tried different steamed tilapia recipes, baked tilapia, pot roast, things my mom taught me to cook, and our next feat, homemade barbecue pulled pork. The fun part about being in a community of believers in the South is that you will find so many recipes being shared among the members! Ant and I's ruling elder is a very impressive cook. He passed along his recipe for his BBQ pulled pork and this week we are attempting to make it with 6.75 pounds of pork butt and trying to feed it to some of our friends tonight. I hope they eat it! I seriously love being from the South and all the delicious flavors that go into the foods. Anyways, I'll probably post how that goes after tonight. The best part about cooking experimental dishes, I know I will always have someone to eat it, the husband.

School: So not cool. Still trudging along and trying to stay on task. I struggle a lot with this area of my life right now in terms of being joyful in what I do and putting my best effort. It's so unfortunate that our last semester of class is like this. Honestly, I guess it's helpful that all my classmates are going through the exact same thing of dreading class. Somehow, this semester amounted to very high maintenance classes that are not all too helpful but still high maintenance, i.e. the reading and writing makes me think back to high school days. One thing I do value about being at school is the time I have left with some of my fellow pharmers who will be leaving next year for rotations. It does make it all bittersweet knowing that we as a class are pretty close now, and we spend the last year apart and don't see each other until graduation. It's kind of like high school all over again, you spend 3 years of your life with the same 122 people; you still get the same drama, gossip, and etc. but you still somehow find it intriguing the mix of people that make up our class of 2008.

Church/Spiritual: As compartmentalized as this entry sounds in my separate paragraph headings, this is the part of my life where I wish and prayed would be instilled in every aspect of my life. I think as students, at least for me, it always works out easier when you compartmentalize. You can deal with separate things at separate times. But as I continue to walk in this area (at this point the walk is a really slow walk), I've learned that you can't simply compartmentalize your relationship with God. There are so many blessings in this area though. As dry as I feel during this semester, God is still providing for my needs. We are in a wonderful community-group out of our church. So wonderful that Ant and I have decided to move literally 3 minutes away from the couple that leads our group. We're excited to be part of the local church community and living around them makes it so much better.

House: We are moving into a house at the end of April. We didn't buy it but are renting it for the next 2 years. It's really exciting since there isn't too much commitment with that other than maintaining it. I'm not too excited about having to pack up all this stuff we have here and moving it in a few months. Once again, thank goodness for community-groups who offer a lending hand.

Family: It's the usual Tan family, no lie. I think this area is often a huge conflict because somehow, I still feel that even though we're married now, we are still look like children in my parent's eyes. There's got to be a transition somewhere in there, but it definitely hasn't happened in these first 2 months. There are times when I wonder if my father will ever change his stubborn ways and views on life. They say as you get older, it's harder to change that. Great. Other things, once we move, we're definitely having my sister over more often.

Ok so that's the main update for the next few weeks. I'm so not good with updating, but it's fun to see things written out. I wonder if anyone still reads this... =)

So far in my 5 years of being educated in college, I have avoided, and might I say, purposely avoided classes that require A LOT of reading, writing, and in class discussion. Why you ask? Because in the tiny paragraphs of text, would be my brain, lost in the context of all the words. I don't mind reading a bit, as long as it's something that interest me, I mean who likes reading something that bores them to death? But seriously, in all the classes I've taken, I've just simply avoided the reading lots of things and writing long papers. So, in my final semester of classes in pharmacy school, we have a lovely class called Pharmacy Law and Ethics. Actually, I wouldn't say that the material is boring, but copious, there is SO MUCH to read over things, I never would have thought about. That's probably a good thing that there are people out there in my profession who think about these matters so we as professionals do not end up killing a patient. By far, this class has been the most stressful class I've ever had in my 5 years, and I've only attended 1 class. The reason why this class is stressing me out is because first, we had to fill out notecards with our names in order for the professor to pull out at random whenever he pleases, to ask us about anything and everything. It makes me sweat in my seat to know that there is a 1 in 125 chance that I will be called on, but each time he calls on someone that denominator gets a bit smaller...1 in 124...1 in 123...etc. These notecards are a method of which my professor takes notes on how we answer the question, and from there scores us positive, negative, or pass (if I so choose to say "pass"). Second reason why I stress out in this class (by the way it's a 2-hour long class, if he does call on me, will I say something incredibly stupid or not know what in the world he is talking about in front of my 122 other classmates. Third reason why I stress out, he talks fast about all the cases we should have read prior to class, and I am trying to write everything important down, which is basically anything the man says, and trying to pay attention so that if he does call on me, I know where and what he's asking about. I have to give it to the people who are in law, or any major that requires reading and writing, you guys are amazing to be able to learn and read all that material. Perhaps it is my learning style, but I do not learn well under this type of pressure. We definitely talk about really interesting cases, but in my slow thinking, I cannot seem to formulate any type of answer that fast on the spot. Honestly, I will probably be the deer in headlights when he does finally call on me, and I will just accept that.

You have to be wondering why in the world I'd be posting on the journal a few days after the wedding. Well, we're not going to Chicago until the 28th, so that leaves lots of time to goof off a bit. It's nice to have the wedding stuff out of the way. I would have to say things went well unless someone with a different perspective could offer me their opinion. My hope is that our guests enjoyed themselves and enjoyed the fact that our hearts were set on having a ceremony and reception that wasn't incredibly long. Anthony and I are very thankful for all our family and guests who traveled from afar to celebrate with us. If anyone has pictures, PLEASE post them sometime, or send me some!

So, what did we do after the wedding? We actually got a complimentary suite at the Washington Duke Inn, very nice I might add. We grabbed dinner at Bojangles and drove out to Raleigh to meet up with some NC State folk at Krispy Kreme. I had been craving some donuts so my brand new husband was a man and drove me out there, plus we got to hang out with cool people. We were pretty much beat after that.

The next day, Christmas Eve was a lot of fun as well. We returned home to Anthony's family at our apartment. We had lunch together and opened presents. After a nice food coma, we were off to my parents' place for the 2nd event, which included a lovely meal made by my mom. It was so much fun, we played games with my cousins until 12:30am, and then finally we were back to the apartment. I think we've had a lot of family time in these past few days.

Which leaves Christmas Day, it's odd, but it really doesn't feel like Christmas. Today was pretty much spent going through gifts, cleaning house, moving clothes around, and LAUNDRY. A lot of laundry. But it's fun when there's an extra set of hands around now. Yay for my wonderful husband. It's funny to say, my husband. Well, thank you again everyone for coming out to the wedding. Hopefully, we'll get some pictures to post soon!

Merry Christmas!!!

And the REAL countdown begins...3 days to go until the wedding. Definitely can't wait for it to be here, maybe even over? I don't want to wish it away for sure. But hey, things this week have been pretty good so far. I'm excited to see the family and friends coming, 205 people altogether. I hope everyone has fun celebrating with us.

I may need to change my journal name...as I won't be a "Tan" for much longer!

Pray for my cold...tell it to go away! Don't want to slobber or inoculate my soon to be husband....hahaha.

I hope everyone is doing well, and everyone have a safe and happy holidays!

So to start out, this week has been quite the interesting one. Monday, all of Anthony's stuff from Illinois came, all 60 items into our 2 bedroom apartment. And if you know me well, I can't stand clutter, so it was a race to organize things, purge things, and keep things stored in boxes since we'll be moving again in 5 months or so. It's still not up to par, but it's doable considering all the other things going on. So, pretty much we dealt with the move all of Monday, leaving me minimal time to study for my Cardiology final which was the next day. Thank God it was at 1pm, so I had the morning of the exam to cram a bit. Needless to say, I definitely was not prepared as I should have been, but that's ok, that one is over with and I've got 2 more to go this week.

The big event of the week happened on Thursday. I got into a car wreck. My poor car that has been with me since junior year of highschool, was wrecked. I'm ok, and it definitely could have been a lot worse. Pretty much, I was driving along this street (small, private street that is adjacent to a shopping center) and the guy was coming out of the restaurant making a left onto the street I was going straight on. He was driving an SUV, and didn't see me coming around the curve of the street, and basically hit me dead on the between the front and back passenger doors, shattering my front door glass (which probably was the most scary part other than the impact, was the flying glass). Thanks be to God that no one was riding with me that day and that the impact was not my side. All in all it was ok, the driver of the other car is ok, and surprisingly with his age, handled it like a man (he was in highschool).

So, I just recently got a call from the insurance adjuster, and my car is totalled. No way of bringing it back. Well, please pray that we figure out something soon in terms of how I will get around, especially with the wedding coming up, I need something to drive to run those last minute errands! Ok, it's time to go concentrate on studying....

But instead I'm updating! I know it's the most random time to update, but I can't fall asleep. I have a final I have yet to really study for, but I have time in the morning.
Let's see, what's been up with me...eh, school, work, and wedding. I'm surprisingly very calm about everything these days. I'm very thankful for that, I hope it continues these next few weeks. We're getting closer and closer to the big day...22 days...I finally started doing the little count down thing, althought I feel like the more I pay attention to the days, it will seem a lot longer until the day.

So, Anthony's belongings are coming this week. I am quite frightened by the amount of stuff I myself have accumulated these past 4.5 years of college. We will definitely be getting rid of things that we have double of, so if you're in the need for some cookware that's still good to use or some dinnerware (plates, maybe some cups, and some bakeware) please please let me know, because we can't keep it all!

As I get closer to the date, I've been talking to others and reminding myself of what exactly is marriage. I continue to remember that marriage is something God created, an intimate relationship that gives us this mere glimpse of what the relationship of Christ and the Church. It's such a beautiful image, thought, all of it. Keep praying that God continues to prepare both of us for this covenant relationship as well.

Another cool thing, as I've become a member of a local church, I'm starting to get more involved in it as well. This weekend, the women of the church are throwing this Christmas brunch. We get to invite our friends to share in the story of Christ, and etc. I hope it turns out well. We get to decorate our own tables. This should be interesting.

I really have nothing important to say, just really passing time instead of sleeping or studying. I hope to see some people soon again, catch up or something. I've been pretty MIA this semester with all that's been going on. I assure you, I'm still around! Call me please!

Finally an update, well really, it's more like, FINALLY, a moment to write! These past few weeks have been filled with lots of school work, this semester was suppose to be not as busy, but it's turning out to be one of the busiest schedules. With volleyball being Monday and Tuesday nights, work and class on Thursdays, and work on the weekend, I don't seem to have many evenings off. More and more, I'm feeling the drained, emotionally, physically, and especially spiritually. God has been really tugging at my heart, reminding me to slow down and that I really cannot handle all things on my own.

After church today, I went over to one of the church family's homes for lunch. I'm so thankful this family is incredibly open and really have taken me in. It's so much fun just hanging out and getting to know a family here in this area. One of the elders of the church was there as well with his children, his wife is overseas on a missions trip. We talked a lot about marriage, obviously, which I'm so grateful for having these Christian couples who've been married for a while couseling me and giving advice. I'm excited for Ant to move back after Thanksgiving and get to know them as well.

Tomorrow is a big day. In my pharmacy profession, we're getting trained to give immunizations. Tomorrow will be the actual day we have to give each other shots. I'm a bit terrified but I trust my partner. We're giving 2 intramuscular shots (1 in each arm) and 1 subcutaneous shot. How fun does that sound? Pray for me, and my partner!

This past weekend was interesting as well in the sense that I house sat/doggy sat for one of the pharmacist I work with. It was quite enjoyable just hanging out at their home with their 3 dogs and 5 cats. Reminds me of how much I want to settle down and start a home with Ant. I'm starting to sound like I'm really old...but I'm really not...
So while I was there, I got to watch their digital cable, of course I ended up on Food Network watching the Guiness Book of World Records. They were showing things like, the world's fastest pumpkin carver (fyi: 24 seconds is the new record, the dude broke his own record of 54 seconds, that is, carving 2 eyes, 2 ears, 1 nose, and a mouth, and the top...24 seconds?!), another man now holds the new record for making like 515 pancakes in like however many hours, it was either 1 or 3, some sort of amazing feat. I have to say the pancake making, was CRAZY. (There's the link: http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/show_cc/episode/0,2495,FOOD_20077_46388,00.html)

Next thought: I found out that my co-ed volleyball team will be playing again in the Spring, so I'm so excited about it. It's kind of awesome how our team formed, we were all the extra/new people, and just got put onto a new team, and it's been so much fun. I really hope my 4th year of rotations is around here...with Ant, church, and volleyball being here...sigh...we find out first week of November...

Well, it's back to work however, until Wednesday. Fall Break is this week, yay! Flying out to Arizona to see Ant until Saturday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELLY TAN!!!

Just wanted to say that online, although I'm sure not many people read this since I clearly do not update it at all.

Good news of the month, Anthony will be back here for good after Thanksgiving, and will be working in Cary. Now everyone pray that I can get around here for my rotations for fourth year!

Things are quite hectic these days, it's sad when you don't see your own roommate until Sunday most of the time. We work such opposite schedules, it's very seldom that we are at home at the same time. We finally went out for dinner last night to chit chat and I have missed that. Soon, I'll have a new, permanent roommate =)

Our new web site address is www.wongweddingwebpage.com, go check it out, it's got our menu and pics on there as well. And yay, I finished the invitations!

Someone please keep telling me not to cut my hair but I'm so tempted to chop it all off. It's rather cumbersome now!

I'm going to go fall asleep in class now...

It's been a really long time since I've had blisters. This will be a pretty silly post, but I'm experiencing the pain of 5 blisters, 3 on my left foot, 2 on my right. This all started with my little fetish of cute shoes. I just so happen to be walking in Target yesterday, when I came upon some very cute flats. In the back of my head, I knew that they would give me blisters, but I just kept saying, it'll be fine, this time will be different. Boy, was I WRONG. Warning: This post is really going to be about my blisters. So, running late this morning, I forgot to put on my flip flops to walk in, because I knew I wasn't going to make it walking across campus, but it just slipped my mind. I paid for that, by the time I sat down in class, the back of my heels were bleeding, and my 2 pinky toes were very swollen. It was a pain walking back to the car after class, each step I took, I kept saying, I knew I shouldn't have bought these. Where did I acquire my last blister? I went to volleyball today. I didn't think I'd play tonight because the women's team I was playing on had a full roster already, but I went to meet the captain. It turns out the captain got injured during the 2nd game they played, I mean, she busted her eyebrow open...and who gets to play now? Me. I taped up the previous blisters to try to play through the pain. At the end of the night, after all the shuffling around, I had a new friend, on the side of my left big toe. Haha, so lesson learned, be careful on what shoes you buy, and whether you can really walk far distances in them. I look quite funny, bandaged up, I wonder are you suppose to cover blisters?

Anyways, I was kidding about the post, not all about blisters. I do want to post about my experiences stepping out of my comfort zone of playing college volleyball, to the adult world of volleyball. I hope I stay in shape like many of these players. I had so much fun playing with these women, most of them mid-30s to mid 40s, still smacking away, and killing the ball. One woman on my team, just had a baby 7 weeks ago, and she was out there playing hard. Anyways, it's definitely a trip, driving to literally the other side of Durham. But well worth it, eventhough I have so much work to do.

And the note of seriousness, of course, this day is very important to our nation. So, blisters or not, today was a day of remembrance. I remember where I was exactly, in Mrs. Hill's AP Calculus class, Senior year of high school. Mrs. Hill was in tears, and we didn't have class, we just sat there and watched. What a day.

Ok study now with my 5 blisters =)

Yeah, that's right studying again. Our first exam is this Friday, yay, in Medicinal Chemistry. As dorky as I am, I actually am very interested in this material. It's crazy, I know.

Anyways, not that much to update on. School is school, although it is my last year of class. I think the stress will come when we're trying to figure out where we will be for our 4th year of rotations. I keep praying that I will be around here so that Ant and me can finally be in one place together. But if not, what's another year...sigh...if only they gave married couples priority, but no, only those who pop kids out or get pregnant by September 25th, and that CLEARLY will not happen for me, so it's all in someone else's hand.

Ant made a new wedding website for us, seems to be much nicer. Hopefully we'll get pics up of the menu items which we tried out last Friday when he was in town. Very impressed by the meal! Web address is: http://www.ewedding.com/v20/welcome.php/anthonyandemily/ and leave us nice messages. Haha, and don't believe every word of Ant's version of the story. He had little too much fun with that.

Speaking of wedding, we'll be doing the real countdown very soon. I'm excited, although, right now is sort of difficult because Ant is in Arizona, and dealing with the 3 hour time change is rather annoying. It's only until the end of November though. That seems far away still. Pre-marital counseling has been fun with W and J Husk, we have to schedule monthly when Ant flies in, but it's been very helpful. We're definitely coming along with the planning, so I'm not feeling too pressured at all. Thanks to some very very AWESOME help =) (i.e. roomie, sister, and the ever-so-wonderful fiance) Please keep praying for us, as we both prep to be married.

This semester hasn't been too bad, not as much pharmacy classes, but still somewhat full days for some reason. It is our last semester of lab, yay, but I'm also TAing lab this semester for the 1st year pharmacy students. I am totally enjoying that experience, even with the hard questions I get that make me feel stupid, I'm still learning though! My group is quite interactive, which is very helpful and I couldn't have asked for a better group. I hope they're learning something from me...I feel so responsible for what they will take out of this course. TAing in pharmacy school lab is very different from grad school TA, because we do a lot of teaching, and not just grading. Not that I'm downgrading TAs, but we're definitely having to learn things over again, like using the balances in lab, calculations that I thought I'd never have to see again, and yeah, you get the point.

Anyways, I should get back to studying. This entry sounds incredibly choppy but I have no time to really organize it.

I'm going to be 22 soon...

I should be at the gym right now but then I remembered I haven't updated livejournal in quite some time. It probably won't get updated as much now that school starts tomorrow. Sigh, so many things to do!

Last week was a lot of fun. We flew out to Los Angeles for Ant's older sister's wedding. Other than the annoying traffic, we had a lot of fun.

Wednesday: The family (my soon to be in-laws) drove to Temecula to a Calloway winery. People always say that it just takes time to acquire a taste for wine, but somehow I still haven't, although the dessert wine and sparkling wine are quite tasty to me. We then had Korean food, which actually was pretty good. I don't have anything against Korean food, just never had a chance to try it.

Thursday: Ant, his bro, and I ventured out to the beach in Santa Monica. It's nice not being sticky at the beach because of the humidity. The boys took their shot at the steel rings over at muscle beach which was very entertaining. That evening, the 3 of us made dinner for the rest of the family. We grilled salmon, zuccini, red and green peppers, had a fruit salad, and some champagne.

Friday: We walked around where Ant's sister lives for a bit. Then proceeded to have very yummy Chinese food, although parking was not too fun there. We went to Ant's sister's friend's place to help tie programs together for the ceremony. This is where I fell down a stair outside, but anyways...It was very entertaining watching boys tie bows. Side note: why do most boys make everything into a competition? We were then on our way to the rehearsal at the church and to dinner which was American food.

Saturday: The Big Day. We headed to church early for pictures. It was a bit awkward, because I wasn't sure if I was "family" yet, but nonetheless, I am very close to it (4 months to go!). So, we take lots of pictures and Ant's sister looks beautiful. I guess I'll post pics later if I ever figure out how to do that on here. Ceremony was very nice, simple and to the point. Next, the reception at this place called NBC Seafood in Monterey Park. After a 10 course meal, I could barely walk. Needless to say, it was all VERY VERY good. After the bride and groom left, we went back to the apartment to change, then proceeded over to hang out with Ant's extended family at their hotel. And when I say extended, it's quite extended. Most of Ant's family lives on the west coast, so I met EVERYONE. I have to say, I really enjoyed meeting them all.

Sunday: All I can say is, we sat on the plane most of Sunday. We got through security in an hour, so Ant and I went to Chili's in the airport the remaining 2 hours. We flew to Chicago together, and then split ways.


That, was my whole week in California. I am very happy to be back on the East Coast, although my body can't seem to adjust to the time again. But lots of fun, and makes me really ready to be part of such a fun family.

Congrats to N and A on their marriage =)

I can't believe that June is almost over. I'm in my last week of rotations here in Greensboro and it's been such a great experience. I still love seeing patients and talking to them about their lives. It's been eye opening that's for sure the whole indigent clinic setting. Apparently, the reason why there is this clinic is to help lower the visits to the Emergency Room because of all the crowding by people without insurance. I suppose it gets to be a challenge when people with real emergencies are waiting to get into the ER. The more and more I think about it, I really hope I end up in some type of clinic setting like this, not just any clinic, but a community health center.

I've had a lot of fun getting to know the staff at this clinic as well. They are all very unique, that's for sure. One nurse practitioner is really good about letting me see some of her patients for diabetes counseling or asthma counseling. I have had so many opportunities to learn and practice, I'm kind of sad to leave and go back to the high paced job in the retail world. I am reminded that I can do just as much, getting to know people in my community at home as well.

Anyhow, enough about career paths, this past month has also been a challenging one because I've been trying to get involved in the church that I've been attending this past semester. I'm definitely feeling stretched beyond my comfort level, but in such a great way. The people at the church I go to are very real, authentic, and passionate about what God is doing in their lives. I am enjoying the whole getting to know people, definitely not use to being the new person and putting myself out there. This summer, they are doing a series through Deuteronomy. I have to say that it has been very interesting to hear God's message through an Old Testament book. It's pretty cool!

Well, I must also say that I am excited to see the fiance this weekend. It's pretty difficult to contain that excitement because it's been over a month, which I'm sure sounds minor, but I am thrilled! If it weren't for the amount of weddings we are/were attending this summer, I don't know if we'd see each other this often, well I'm sure we would. 2 weddings down, 3 more to go this summer!

Much of working in a clinic that serves people who are less fortunate has made me realize how sheltered I am back at home.

On Monday, as I drove into the parking lot of the clinic, all I saw were the groups of African-American men, in not so decent looking or clean looking clothes, all hanging around the corner of the clinic. I have to say it was my second nature to reach over and lock my doors, eventhough I was driving into the parking lot, knowing that I would have to get out eventually.

It's Wednesday, and I'm beginning to feel God melt my heart for these people. I'm still very careful with the older men, but in general, at a distance, I'm beginning to want to care about God's people, the people who most think are dirty and worthless. Much of the work that these health professionals do, is relating, or at least trying to be sympathetic to where these people are coming from. It shocks me to know that most of the people that travel in and out of this clinic, have no income, and if they do, it's a matter of choosing between food to feed their families or medicine that they may need. There are still some people that frustrate me to know ends, the people who refuse to understand or want to do anything to better their health, and revert to just letting a disease state take over their lives. At times, I think about how our society has allowed such a gap in wealth. I mean granted some of it is people's laziness and then in other cases there are real people out there who are not so fortunate because they are disabled.

Today, I also got to sit in on a smoking cessation class with new members. For that hour, meeting the group of 10 people, all with the similar struggle, they want to quit smoking but don't think they can do it. It was encouraging to see them admit how addicted they are to nicotine. Most of them started in their teens and are now in their late 40s or 50s. The lady that leads the session is very empowering and encouraging, and I'm eager to see how these members will change. I guess that's the good thing about being on rotation for a full month, I get to follow patients now.

So, after my half day today, I ventured out in Greensboro in search of the Barnes and Noble. And after getting turned around once, I found it, in a shopping center with Old Navy and all these other fun stores. I don't really have the cash to spend really, but it was fun nonetheless walking around. I ended up siting in Barnes and Noble for a few hours reading magazines, and then I sat in a comfy couch and started "Fast Food Nation" and have not been able to put it down yet. I haven't read a book for just the heck of it. So intrigued by the perspective in the book.

Anyways, enough for today...

Yes! My second entry in a row! I don't even think anyone really reads this anymore....but anyways...(Disclaimer: I rambled in this entry)

Today, was a semi-short day at the clinic but then I had to sit in a 5 hour long seminar. The good part about that was seeing familiar faces again, some of my classmates also on rotation in the area. Today we talked about the future of pharmacy and how important it is to build relationships with other health professionals because that would make or break our careers in the future. We talked about the rise of automation systems, perhaps replacing the dispensing duties of pharmacists. It could be a good thing in the sense that it would free the pharmacist up to do what they're really trained to do, which is managing medication therapies, but the flip side is really trying to find outlets of how pharmacists can promote their expertise in the near future when automation comes into full speed. Our coordinators of the seminar, seem to be very huge advocates of being proactive pharmacists. Being able to prevent disease states and also improving patient quality outcomes. Not so much as to focusing on, "hey I caught an interaction and kept someone from dying or experiencing an adverse effect" but instead saying "hey with this intervention, I helped improve this patient's blood glucose values or helped this patient reach their goal blood pressure." I have to say that every now and then I have to be reminded of what I could possibly do with being pharmacist.
However, I think the more and more time I spend in pharmacy school, the more and more I become unsure of what exactly I want to do with the career. There are so many options, but I always feel like I need to find the right fit the very first time, but then of course, I realize that it's not like that in real life. Kind of like trying on different outfits for different occasions. I keep envisioning one path, but I have this feeling I'll go down another. Then, as I'm reading through this book by Os Guiness "The Call" I keep seeing that it isn't really about where I want to go in life, but rather where God is calling me to follow.

I end this entry with a quote that I am just simply amazed by: "The secret of seeking is not in our human ascent to God, but in God's descent to us. We start out searching, but we end up being discovered. We think we are looking for something;we realize we are found by Someone." (Os Guiness in "The Call") I am quite floored by the statement, because it brings it all back into focus, it's all about God's grace. When we're seeking, we are also sought by Jesus. We definitely don't deserve it, when we stray away from Him, and we're trying to find our way back, and realize He never left us in the first place and He is also seeking after us as well. He's been knocking at our heart this whole time. How amazing is that.

I told everyone I was not very good at updating journals. Well it's summer time again. I just started my Advanced Community rotation at this place called Healthserve Community Health Clinic. It's pretty interesting, they serve a community of patients that do not have any type of insurance or type of coverage for health care services. It's always amazing to see how these clinics run. This month should be interesting at least.

Yesterday was very difficult. Change is always difficult, and going to a new place is quite a challenge. It seems that this semester has been all about new things. Going to a new church, having to meet new people, then for this month, going to another new place, getting lost all the time, and not having anyone to really hang out with here. I'm sure I'll get use to it. But it's difficult nonetheless. I think what made it so depressing at first was the condition of the housing I'm in for a month. It's dreary, everything is extra ancient, and no one was around when I moved in. I know I sound like I'm sulking in my loneliness, and I probably will be for a week or so. But I think it will get better.

Anyways, again, I feel like whenever I write there isn't much to talk about.

Finally updating. I realized, I hold a lot of anger and resentment at times, for no real reason. It's good to let go that's for sure. A great sister sent me a card in the mail today, and it was the nicest, most thoughtful thing ever. Last week I got another postcard from another sister, and man I'm loving the snail mail. It definitely makes my day and it just makes me realize how thankful I am to have sisters in my small group who are so supporting and encouraging, they are each God's gifts to me, different, but I love them so much!

It's been good hanging out with my friends. The exam month has ended..the month of February, where I had at least an exam/paper/project due a week. And it's somewhat smooth sailing until after Spring Break. Praise God for the rest and fellowship. Dana and I have been on a health craze. Pushing each other to eat healthy and remember to eat meals. I love cooking and sharing meals with her because it gives us both a break from our busy lives to catch up with one another, ensures that we eat, and hey, we're learning to cook in the process of it all.

I've also been visiting other churches lately. What a blessing that's been. I went to church with Dana last weekend. Although, some people say that the guy who was speaking that Sunday was not too great, I learned a lot through what God was saying through him. The basic theme of the message was how do we perceive Jesus in our lives? Do we see him merely as a prophet, a teacher? The danger of seeing Him in that light is that we learn what He teaches, and then rely on our own strengths to follow His teachings. To put it as the speaker said "we run the risk of being our own savior where He sets the principles and we in our own will try to follow Him." Should we not proclaim Him as rightful King in our lives? He should be the one who reigns in our life, and what does that mean, surrendering all things to Him because He is sovereign. If only Jesus could get deeper into my heart...This whole year has seemed to be up and down when it comes to Jesus and me. I know I need Him, I know I want to love Him, I know I want to follow Him daily. If I were to confess who Jesus is in my life, would it be a true confession, a personal confession, or just another verse I can think of that relates to who Jesus is? That's the real challenge in my life I think, is confessing that Jesus is MY Lord and Savior.

So anyways, all that aside, I am just thankful today. Thankful that Yaolin's surgery went well, thankful that I have great friends, family, roommates, and fiance. And I'm thankful I can go nap now!

And since someone requested I update...I'm going to try to update instead of do work... =)

I find myself very unmotivated this semester. I think last semester burnt me out fast and this semester I'm just not enjoying the classes I have as much. All the professors can't really teach their material. I mean they are incredibly educated and knowledgeable in their area of expertise but teaching it is another story. And why did powerpoint ever get thrown into college lectures? I have to say, I am extremely frustrated with all the classes this semester because all the teachers use powerpoint to teach and they cram so much information onto each slide and they fly through their lectures. I have to say, it is NOT the best way of learning. Last semester, the classes were taught so much better simply because there was less powerpoint! Anyhow, that's the least of my worries. I continue to pray for diligence and motivation, it probably doesn't help that a lot of my friends are seniors and about to graduate, but definitely not downplaying that a lot of them are working hard at applying to grad school or jobs. I have to say, I am thankful for the excuse of being in school still I suppose. I wish my friends the best of luck but all my friends are smart and quality people so I am very sure they will all do well.

This is such a random entry. Lately, I have felt pretty random. If that makes any sense. It seems like there's way too much to think about!

Wedding planning is actually going surprisingly well. It's really awesome how things are coming together really quickly which is such a blessing especially since Ant will be leaving in May again, so we had to get the big stuff out of the way. I have to say the best part about planning a wedding is all the cool things I've sampled, and I mean like food and wedding cakes. Like today, Ant and I went to a bakery that was doing public cake testing, and we tested at least 6 or so different cakes. It's soo good! And last weekend I went with Abbie to the Carolina Inn's bridal show (courtesy of free tickets) and ate my heart out in the room filled with different hor'deurves (however you spell it) and tasted cakes and champagne. It's sad when you get so focused on just eating...but nonetheless it was still great!

Ok, so other than that...big few weeks coming up. I better get it together soon...1 exam this week, 4 next week, RETREAT (yay!), another exam the week after retreat, and I'm just so excited...hah. Ok enough of my random babbling...I updated!

So the biggest update is that I'm now engaged! If you didn't hear how it happened you can call me or go to Anthony's live journal "arwong". It still hasn't really sunken in just yet...but it's starting to as we're beginning to process of planning our wedding. It's going to be interesting to see how this gets done, I feel like a year is so far away however I'm assured that it flies and it'll be here before I know it. I get excited looking at different sites online of potential wedding ceremony/reception sites. So the toss up is whether we should have the wedding here or in Virginia (where Anthony is from). There so many factors...of course money being the largest. Although I was never one of those girls who had a dream wedding in mind, I do have a few criteria that I've thought about, like how I want it to be somewhat small-medium sized wedding (preferrably of our closest friends and family, it's going to be in the winter (I wish it could happen during the Fall but school gets in the way), a pretty and tasty cake, simple yet elegant dress (why does it need to be white...not my best color) and most importantly, the soon to be husband present (obviously). Anyhow, I'm not too sure how excited Anthony is about planning a wedding...but I guess it's why he's marrying the Type A girl...let's get this planned NOW! haha, kidding, ok half kidding. Anthony is only here in NC until May, so we do need to make the most of the time he's here to get the big stuff out of the way. But that's the best part, my new fiance (it sounds funny still) is here for a few months. I forgot how nice it was to have him around, not to see him everyday but knowing that he's 40 minutes away rather than a 4 hour plane ride away. That will definitely save us some money on the plane fare. Such an amazing guy I tell you...ok I should stop gushing...

So many engagements happening, my roommate from last year, Callie, also got engaged this past weekend as well to one of our old neighbors from last year. Such a great thing, they're too cute. Congrats to them both!

Anyhow, other than that exciting news, I'm struggling to keep focused on studying for these finals. Where in the world did the time go?! I'm definitely ready for this semester to be over, that's FOR SURE. I haven't even done any Christmas shopping yet,heh. I'm excited to see the family again...as soon as these exams are over. So now it's back to the books.

Update: I have never wanted a semester to end as badly as I do right now. I thought last year was bad at this time, but this semester has just blown that one right out of the water. No pun intended in my subject heading, but it has been a test of endurance of taking tests. In the past 2 months, it's been exams literally every week until this week where I still had a project due. Supposedly, Pharmacy School has exam weeks, where we are suppose to have all our exams in that week, but that has not worked at all this semester. After exam week, is another round of exams...I remembered dreading the flight back from Illinois after seeing Anthony because of what I had ahead of me. A nice total of 7 exams in 9 days, that's barely any days to breathe! Mind you, the week before Fall Break, I also had an exams. I'm all tested out. I'm definitely not trying to complain about my situation. I actually kind of laugh at it at this point. It's pretty funny when my life in Pharmacy school is exams or class. You'd think I'd be use to it by now, Finals? yeah I got that...haha, now if I could just endure a little more studying!

Hm, Thanksgiving Break is next week. I'm so excited to go home and EAT! Mmm, such good food, I'm drooling. But before that can happen, I have a final exam and another exam on Monday and Tuesday! Hahaha, I told you I'm becoming a pro at taking exams.